1. |
no tears 2k19
03:32
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cursed from the start
everything you do is wrong
and there is no way out
but you must face it like everyone
days on your own
in an empty, empty room
days on your own
you feel nothing but doom
no tears for the creatures of the night
X4
I fainted and we laughed
I never feel better than that
in these tiring times
I don’t care if I live or die
no tears for the creatures of the night
x4
much love to no tears by tuxedomoon
and much love to berlin and all the psycho friends i have there <3
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2. |
i wish i knew
02:59
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I wish I knew how to love you but I’m not sure if I do
and I wish I could say that everything would be okay but it won’t
I wish I could say that it would all be okay but that’s a lie
X2
and when we spend Time together again
Ill try not to take it for granted again
and when we spend time together again
Ill try not to be so negative again
but sometimes I am stuck in my head
and sometimes I wish that I was dead
X2
but I love you
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3. |
a stupid boy
03:14
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sitting in the catholic school basement
we sang Backstreet Boys songs
it was kind of dark and scary in there
just like the fear of god
and one time in the church next door
a girl puked out on my coat
in the middle of the service
soon I claimed I was an atheist
and it all feels so far away now
they tore down the school last fall so will never be back around
and when we had to play outside
because a student brought in lice
just you and me in the parking lot
we jumped rope and laughed on and on
and I felt some kind of longing for you
I wished that I could be just like you
but I was stuck the way I was
a stupid boy a stupid boy
and sometimes I still feel that longing to be outside this prison
and sometimes I still feel that dread in my head again
staying up late
praying to god
when I woke up I wouldn’t be
a stupid boy
anymore
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4. |
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I’m staring at the people
the ones behind the screen
everybody looks so perfect
do they feel that way about me
she looked just like a model
I fucked it up again
my days they feel embarrassing
pathetic and pretend
driving down the interstate just staring at the sun
I need some self destructiveness, and I need someone
someone to spend the night with, so I don’t feel so alone
this is my substitution for a home
staring at the people
as I’m sitting on the street
I’m feeling sick and evil
do they feel like me?
I’m feeling so far gone
I’m feeling like a freak
I’m always cutting myself open
for the world to see
overwhelming memory of words I should have said
when I was a young man I thought that I’d be dead
but now I’m still here and I’m trying to pretend
that I can shake the feelings in my head
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5. |
only chance
04:18
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the sky is full of memories
I stare past into the sun
but I know soon they’ll be faded
away from anyone
the time passes so quickly
and I think about who I could’ve been
but I’m here now, I’m reckless, I’m tired
and I keep on traveling
and the road it has no end
but it’s my only chance of life
there’s no return to where I came from now
this is all I have
I learned so much from you
but you’ve faded behind now
I was so ungrateful
and now you are gone
i didn’t deserve it
but nobody does
it’s impossible to keep up
happiness is
just an illusion
and it never
accomplishes anything
no one deserves it
it’s nothing to strive for
we’re all selfish and sick
as a whole
we are cursed
as a whole
god she has left us
we’re picking at straws now
we cling to solutions
that will never pass
and god she is laughing
as we tie the noose up
the day must come soon
when there is
nothing at all
no memories
nothing at all
silence
finally
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6. |
nothing will get better
03:21
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when you see the mom you have
and when you can understand
that she can’t help
she can’t help herself
she can’t help anyone
it’s the genes in your blood
you are cursed you are nothing
it’s the genes in your blood
you are cursed you are nothing
forever
you are broken
forever
forever
nothing will get better
nothing will get better
nothing will get
nothing will get
nothing will get
nothing will get better now
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7. |
truth
03:43
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I don’t wanna sell my soul for anything
but is it possible these days to have a life that’s genuine
am I real? If I’m not acknowledged?
if no one listens, am I an artist?
does anyone have real experiences
because it seems like no one does
it seems like no one does
customer service interactions
it’s the closest I often get to connection
looking for some kind of truth
but mostly I just feel like a fool
looking for some kind of truth
im looking more in the things that I do
I don’t want to live so numb
I just need to feel something
all the dreams I had are dead
along with all the words I said
looking for some kind of truth
but mostly I just feel like a fool
looking for some kind of truth
im looking more in the things that I do
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8. |
consuming everyday
02:13
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consuming everyday
all day everyday
gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme it all x4
killing more time making more money
killing more time spending more money
X2
consuming everyday
all day everyday
I want it all
give me it all
spending money
making money
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9. |
odessa
03:12
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i walk the steps in odessa
my head it hurts, my throat is dry
it's images of nothingness
the faces all just flicker by
i jump around like i'm a kid
when i slow down i want to die
the laziness inside my head
i'll compensate by getting high
i'm staring at the cats in the park
i'm all alone and it's getting dark
some of them just run away
but i guess everything will someday
i walk the steps in odessa
a lady grabs me by the arm
i stare ahead and walk away
some people starve but the sea is calm
i think about the energy
the passion that was always on
but now he's dead at 24
his smile it still lingers on
i'm staring at the cats in the park
i'm all alone and it's getting dark
some of them just run away
but i guess everything will someday
i'm staring at the cats in the park
i'm all alone and it's getting dark
do you want to be my friend?
but i'll just leave you alone again
and I’m not sure where my life is going anymore
i just live inside some dream
and I will let you down like everybody before
I cannot focus on anything
if I was a cat would I be happier
running across the city streets
if I was a cat would I be happier instead
and would I finally feel free?
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10. |
not a better time
00:49
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blegh
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11. |
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bunny love New Hampshire
home recordings by a person that gets bummed out a lot and moves around a lot
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