squandered potential

by bunny love

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credits

released April 3, 2017

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bunny love New Hampshire

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Track Name: summer in new england
it's summer in new england
and i feel like i'm winning
walking around with a dumb grin
laughing and scoffing at everything

it's summer in new england
i'm travelin round getting paid to sing
i made a ton in provincetown
but portland had me struggling

it's summer in new england
and i keep doing lines with my friends
in a minute i won't feel anything
in a minute i won't be listening

it's summer in new england
and my friend has been drinking
she don't do much else of anything
she can slam them down like it's nothing

it's summer in new england
and i am worried about nothing
sleeping in my car when the sun hits
filling my head with dreaming

it's summer in new england
and i don't really want it to end
i don't want to leave my friends
but i know i've got to get out again

it's summer in new england
and my friend lost control of her head
she thinks people are after her
she ended up in a mental home

it's summer in new england
and my ex girlfriend od'd on heroin
i thought that she was smarter
but her thoughts overwhelm her head
Track Name: sociopath
i'm feelin feelin feelin like a sociopath
i'm feelin feelin feelin lik e a sociopath
because my empathy has atrophied tonight
i'm starin at their faces but can't reach the destinations that a competent heart can always find

i'm feelin feelin feelin like a sick fuck
i'm feelin feelin feelin like a sick fuck
i want to be beaten and tied up
i'm a slave to my brain and i'm addicted to the pain I know I know I know it never stops

i'm feelin feelin feelin like a sociopath
i'm feelin feelin feelin like a sociopath
because my empathy has atrophied tonight
i feel so disconnected and sometimes i feel rejected trying to take control of this mind
Track Name: sometimes it's hard
sometimes it's hard to breathe
sometimes it's hard to see the truth of anything
sometimes it's hard to feel good about your life
sometimes it's hard to feel good about your life

sometimes it's hard to feel
sometimes it's hard to understand what is real
sometimes it's hard to feel good about your life
sometimes it's hard to feel good about your life

i am fading away
i am wasting away
etc
Track Name: nothing is enough
I screamed out today
buried under the weight of everything
I went back to bed
tried to work on the album but a stranger was screaming in my head

nothing is enough for me
nothing is enough for me

I could never get enough attention
I am addicted to the feeling
but I am usually alone
feeling estranged from everybody that I know

nothing is enough for me
nothing is enough for me
Track Name: dear jana
it intriqued me how you'd sit alone and talk to yourself
separate from everyone else
you were only twelve
but I could sense that you'd already gone through hell
I only worked with you for a few days
there wasn't much I could do
but I wish that things could be better for you

I wonder what goes on in your brain
it seemed to me like you had a lot of pain
beneath the surface
you might have hated yourself
felt alienated from everyone else
but please know you didn't deserve this

you started crying in the middle of class
I asked you what was wrong
you said everyone hated you.
I hope it's not true.
there was obviously something wrong in your life
you had to live it as your own
you told me you never wanted to go home
Track Name: squandered potential
waking up in an empty room
I tell myself I'll change it soon
I've got some things I need to do
but I'll never accomplish them

I'm not the best at anything
I am not reaching all my dreams
in a world of seven billion
what's the point of living

I'm losing my grip
I'm feeling worthless
squandered potential

been here 25 years
I thought by now I'd be
effecting people's lives or something
be someone important

but I haven't done much
it's impressive just to leave bed
I'm amazed when I actually
do something productive

her dilated pupils stared into my soul
i was 17 in a blacklight room with no control
she told me about her life
she said she felt like
squandered potential

my friend she tried to kill herself a couple weeks ago
she used to paint and draw, she was one of the best artists I knew
but she got weighed down and lost control of herself
she didn't have a safety net or help from anyone else

I don't know how she feels
but I pretend that I do
she probably wants a different life
and I think I do too
squandered potential...
Track Name: i hope you know that i'm a creep
your strong legs
cinderella hair
your thick smile
chuckling into the air
your wide curves
water waves
solid and toned
deep dimples on your face
I got donuts
you got ice cream
we'd walk all day
you were gluten free
we'd ride aimlessly
or we'd be lazy
i hope you realize
that i'm crazy

I think of you when I see a Jeep
I sleep with your art print next to me
I hope you know that I'm a creep
I sleep with some hope inside of me

(LUNAGRAM)
I whipped into your plaid sheets with bad speech
holding open the past week passive aggressively smoking cigs in your backseat
speaking expressively when you asked me...
if I can stay another week
if I can stay another week
I took a minute to speak
the words were muddied and bleak
maybe I'll try it on the weekend
maybe I'll try it on the weekend, it's all fine
maybe I'll try it on the weekend, it's all fine

stuck my head in the dryer and my feet in the snow
take a month to settle down and a minute to go
wait a week to a year just to try it again
I'll see you in paradise when the world ends

stuck my head in the dryer and my feet in the snow
take a month to settle down and a minute to go
wait a week to a year just to try it again
I'll see you in paradise when the world ends.

we'd ride bikes at night, i didn't want to come home
I was bummed when they stole your bike, i'd have to ride alone
we'd ride bikes at night, i didn't want to come home
I was bummed when they stole your bike, i'd have to ride alone
Track Name: alex
you were in my science class in middle school, we'd sit next to each other from time to time and exchange a word or two. we were both awkward and didn't really fit into a group so we had this in common. i remember that science teacher had this weird cartoony face and sometimes she would really piss everyone off. one time in class you wrote a letter to the cheetos corporation requesting that every bag of chips should come with a pair of gloves. it was weird and funny and made me laugh and for some reason I remember that moment.
and in high school you were in humanities with me, that class was ridiculous and sometimes crazy. we started talking more and i asked if you wanted to go to a rave, you shrugged and said why not. i liked your attitude and we started to talk a lot.
we'd take ecstasy and ketamine and i remember one time tripping at my parents house on lsd. we were out of our minds and you were acting hilarious. i think i still have quotes you said written down from that night. confused laying on the floor, i will always cherish that time.

one time I cried my ass off in your backseat; you didn't judge me or mind.
you are a rare kind of person, and I knew then we'd be friends for a long time.
we were both alienated youth, trying our best to be free.
I can't speak for you, but your presence always reassured me.

we'd drive hours and hours just to go to these all night parties, we'd be driving home at 7 am and us two would be the only ones up in the car. staring out the glass into the air, listening to mike skinner trying to find some sense in the insanity of our lives.
one time i drank a forty and puked out the side of your car as you were driving, it was ridiculous but you just laughed it off, you didn't get mad at all.
one time you ate those dirty pills and you were just sitting in the corner staring at the wall grinding your jaw, it freaked me out but in a few hours you were fine.
we went to a leftover crack show one time and snuck in because it was sold out. the lead guy was acting like a drunk asshole so we left.
and that one time you played at our favorite club in Boston, it was awesome seeing you up there where you belonged.

I've been moving around a lot the past few years; I don't see you much anymore.
but everytime I see you we pick up right where we left off before.
I remember leaving New Hampshire last year I texted you saying sorry i didn't get to see you before I left.
you texted me back saying we didn't need some kind of special "goodbye moment" and this made me smile and laugh.

we go on hikes together now when we can and everytime is great. I love hearing your opinion on politics and social issues and it always impresses me how much you know about all that stuff.
we can talk about music for hours, you're always showing me something I need to hear. you've been working on music too and it always impresses me. it's not the type of stuff I usually listen to but I know the effort you put into it is huge and the finished product always sounds great.
you're going to school now for sound down at SCAD and chasing your dreams as best you can..
seeing how you've progressed since we were teens is amazing and I am proud to say that you are my friend.
Track Name: sitting on the couch
sitting on the couch again
I feel sick and stupid
wasted time on my phone for an hour
I live in an empty home with an empty smile

I haven't called my parents in two months
I don't even know my sister or brother
I put up walls to hide behind
nobody really knows me

the kids make me feel okay sometimes
I can feed off their energy
but I am worried for their futures
some are falling apart right in front of me

I don't want to get old
I know time is running out
I can't fight or compete
I will probably fall apart