1. |
sick flesh
03:30
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i hate my body most times
the flesh i'm stuck in is burning
i can't relate to most people
or maybe i am just so stubborn
sick flesh
and dying friends
and broken hands
and stupid things
and mixed up feelings or something
flying in the top of my mind
dissociation has always been my life
call me a bitch and smack me in the face
i just need something that is true and honest
sick flesh...
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2. |
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i want freedom, not a boss that comes in a forty ounce bottle of anything or taped scotch paper
i eat meat and drive trucks and shoot guns and don't trust in the federal government to solve our problems
you might think i'm joking, but i'm not a republican
call me when your president pulls out of afghanistan, because that's the day i'll get a cell phone number, and you can call and leave a message on voice mail that day
i fell asleep smoking so i'd wake up on fire, because that might get me out of bed for a while and back into battle with the things that i breathe, and the holes in my brain, and the way that i think
and if freedom is doing what i want, well that means i gotta know what is, not just what it isn't. so i'll dig up the dirt and i'll throw down some seeds, because the world needs more spinach, not more motherfuckers like me
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3. |
dr. troll (xiu xiu)
03:12
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la la holds inside of her
the horrible dream of being somebody
thinking about her dream makes her feel
like it’s stupid
a dream whose coming true
is a must a must
it would be so much easier
if she was a real girl
the preschool students ask her
what she is
she thinks i don’t know
she says what do you think
listen to on fire and pretend someone could love you
listen to birthday and dream they knew the half of it
listen to lady day and pretend someone could love you
listen to nick drake and dream they knew the half of it
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4. |
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5. |
blank mirrors
04:56
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my body stiffened and my feet grew
my brain churned and i questioned what was true
the wiser ones laughed in the clouds
as my mortality split and divided
i looked into pages
and i looked into screens
but when i looked into mirrors
i saw nothing
i learned rules for how to behave in my head
determined by the parts living between my legs
i learned rules for how to behave in my head
and by nineteen i would be dead
always felt like some kind of other
searching for reassurance in the attire of my mother
staying up late wishing i could be someone else
or dead at least, that's how i always felt
i looked into pages
and i looked into screens
but when i looked into mirrors
i saw nothing
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6. |
samantha
03:50
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samantha was born the daughter of a priest
raised in isolation, her dad called it decency
blades to her wrists, she'd pray to the gods she'd see
dad exorcised demons, i called it insanity
when she went to college she confided in a friend
she was having queer thoughts that she must not have again
hanging by a string, the students cut her end
all alone with no one, all alone again
god is dead, but samantha believes
at times i think of her before i go to sleep
everything's bleak with a lisp when she speaks
so much self hatred i wonder what she dreams
she slammed her head into a rock to die
god wasn't hearing her, listening to her cries
she slammed her head into a rock to die
a guy found her laying there bleeding out
i can't imagine the scene, the feelings felt
her head it bled onto the rocks and the silt
her body lay limp like an animal pelt
god bless you samantha
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7. |
i am nothing
05:55
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bunny love New Hampshire
home recordings by a person that gets bummed out a lot and moves around a lot
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