sitting in the catholic school basement
we sang Backstreet Boys songs
it was kind of dark and scary in there
just like the fear of god
and one time in the church next door
a girl puked out on my coat
in the middle of the service
soon I claimed I was an atheist
and it all feels so far away now
they tore down the school last fall so will never be back around
and when we had to play outside
because a student brought in lice
just you and me in the parking lot
we jumped rope and laughed on and on
and I felt some kind of longing for you
I wished that I could be just like you
but I was stuck the way I was
a stupid boy a stupid boy
and sometimes I still feel that longing to be outside this prison
and sometimes I still feel that dread in my head again
staying up late
praying to god
when I woke up I wouldn’t be
a stupid boy
anymore
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